Human

I still have no idea what to study, but I'm discovering that people fascinate me so much more than atoms and molecules. I've wanted to study nuclear physics, for such a long time. I find atoms, and our ability to study something so infinitesmally small mindboggling. Quarks, the strange names of their flavors like charm, and strange, and the term flavors itself intrigue me, and add a sense of mystery and humanity to the science. But that's just it. I'm more interested in people, and anything having to do with them. I want to study cultures, history, people's creations, whether art, war, or government. I want to understand why you do what you do, why I do what I do.

I am human, but that brings me no closer to understanding those around me. It reminds me of the beginning of this wonderful book where the author explains that every heart is secret from another, even from those closest to them. I'll never fully understand my fellow human beings, nor will they ever understand me. Only He ever will. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't try. After all, I'm going to need all the knowledge I can get in this life when I'm in the next. I want to know what works and what doesn't in government. I want to know why some people don't believe in themselves, why they fall into despair deep enough to want to harm themselves, or even kill themselves. I want to understand why some people succeed and some don't. And I want to know what I can do to help.

I want to change the world, but I don't know how to do it. I'm struggling with wanting to do something amazing, world-renowned, when I know I'm needed most to change the world one person, one idea at a time. If I could save a family here, a marriage there, maybe a company or factory, I'd be successful. But what I'd really like to do is find a way to equalize education, to make the American Dream more of a reality. Achievement in this country isn't always, truly, based on merit. Too often the problems begin at home, and are worsened by tracks children are put into at schools, or by the poor quality of Title I schools. I want to change that. I don't know how, but just watch me. I will.